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Joke of the Day

"How do you hire an elephant ? Stand it on four bricks !"

"(NSFW) Know how I know you're gay? Your dick tastes like shit"

"Sharks don't like the taste of human flesh, which must mean they are drama queens who only eat people for attention."

"Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school."

"I'm rubber, you're glue. He's scissors, she's a toner cartridge, those fellas are paperclips. Welcome to the supply closet pal."

"Why did the H kill himself? Because the G had."

"*sees neighbors bringing in KFC *knocks on door Have you seen my dog she got out *teary eyed Neighbor: Aw. No, but if there's- Some KFC?"

"Priests, TV personalities and now MPs guilty of bum fidderling no wonder us children of the 70/80s bang on about playing outside all day...who the f*ck would have wanted to go indoors"

"One of the girls in the office where I work is going to be having a baby. I just haven't decided which one yet."

"Pal: ""on your date, ask her about herself. Oh! And girls love a guy into animals"" Me: ""how much do you weigh? about as much as baby cow?"""