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Joke of the Day
"(NSFW) Know how I know you're gay? Your dick tastes like shit"
Next Joke
"I would really love to see how Michaelangelo managed to paint that ceiling with his nunchucks."
"OK, if you get to refer to your favorite football team as ""we,"" then I definitely get to refer to the cast of Friends as ""we."""
"An Irish elocution lesson Say the following words together quickly: Whale. Oil. Beef. Hooked."
"BREAKING: An egg. I'm making scrambled eggs."
"I bought a retro computer. It came with friends still on the outside of it."
"Girl, I like you so much, I might even let you hold my phone....some day, while its locked"
"What do you name a combination Gay Conversion Camp/Coma Ward? Fruits & Vegetables."
"My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say ""Gotham needs me"""
"You know what they say about men with big feet... They have massive socks."