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Joke of the Day

"Priests, TV personalities and now MPs guilty of bum fidderling no wonder us children of the 70/80s bang on about playing outside all day...who the f*ck would have wanted to go indoors"

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"Wanna hear a knock knock joke? Two men walk into a bar. (credit to my friend who has no Reddit account)"
"How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it doesn't screw."
"New neighbours just moved in... I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house."
"Why doesn't an old man ever go down on his old wife? Ever opened a grilled-cheese sandwich?"
"I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids."
"What do bricks and Latinas have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans..."
"I'm well versed in Mexico's version of Judo. Judo know if I got a knife... Judo know if I got a gun..."
"How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish? Adidos!"
"The hardest thing about being a pedophile Is trying to fit in"