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Joke of the Day

"My mom told me it was impossible to build a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta"

Next Joke
 
"They say that sex relieves stress. Not true. I had sex last week and the police have been after me ever since."
"Why did you bring your cat to school? Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school? Student: My dad said he was going to eat mom's pussy."
"Grocery store just charged me $0.10 to offset the environmental impact of my bag and then gave me a paper receipt 3 feet long."
"My Mexican friend was freaking out, but I couldn't understand his panic."
"What do you call a abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled check."
"""Daddy, why is it dark at night?"" It gives the ghosts and zombies a time to run around and collect little kids. Goodnight, hunny."
"Why did the riot police show up early to the protest? They wanted to beat the crowd."
"Doc: I'm afraid you got 6 months to live Me: Why are YOU afraid? Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW?"
"Tom Cruise has never starred in a movie where his character description didn't include the word ""hotshot."""