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Joke of the Day

"Grocery store just charged me $0.10 to offset the environmental impact of my bag and then gave me a paper receipt 3 feet long."

"I just took the Bruce Lee of dumps. It fucked my ass all up."

"i just woke up from a 9 year coma! hope to god The Apprentice is off TV...nothing i hate more than that Donald Trump"

"What do men and slurpees have in common? If you don't suck them fast enough they lose their shape."

"I'm going to rehab I realized I need help when I stuck my dick in coke and my razor in a hooker"

"What is the best way to hunt bear ? With your clothes off."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away... If you're a good enough thrower!"

"Prince: ""The slipper fits! You're the girl I met!"" Girl: ""I wasn't even at the ball. This is a common shoe size."" Prince: ""YOU'RE THE GIRL!"""

"Sex is a lot like pizza. When it's good, it's good! But when it's bad.. It's still kinda good."

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Damn."