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Joke of the Day

"My IQ test results just came in and I'm really relieved. Thank God it's negative."

"Every yo-yo trick should be called ""no friends."""

"I nicknamed my girlfriend melody Because its loudest and always on top"

"What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? Glue."

"What's your mom's favorite bird? A cock or two."

"BOSS: why are you so late? ME: i definitely wasnt up until 4am watching Hey Arnold ha-ha BOSS: well i was and i got here on time"

"What do you call a race where all the runners have no legs? An arms race."

"HR: You can't urinate outside. Me: Then how will we keep the jellyfish away? HR: Can you take a drug test? Me: Nope, I'm all out of urine"

"I just got fired, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently, nursing homes have ""strict rules"" around what you can do with the patients."

"I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like."