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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, we need to talk."" ""Alright."" He grabs a chair and sits. ""Dad, you-"" He grabs yet another chair. ""DAMMIT DAD YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CHAIRS"""

"[OC] How to tell if you're gay... If when you fap, you like the feeling because there's a dick in your hand, rather than liking it because there's a hand around your dick - You're gay."

"i put the ""alcohol"" in ""me"""

"What do u give a woman who has everything? Penacilin"

"What sexual position guarantees the ugliest baby? Go ask your mother"

"I found this addvertisement along the road in Texas Don't Texan drive."

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED] Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought."

"I'd consider myself an artistic fetishist I go hard in the paint."

"I fear all this talk of llamas & dresses has distracted us from the important fact that there is video of Madonna falling off a stage."

"ME: why is my son failing TEACHER: just because u gave him that name doesnt mean he'll be intelligent ME: [gasping] cover ur ears Smartboy"