103179

Joke of the Day

"[OC] How to tell if you're gay... If when you fap, you like the feeling because there's a dick in your hand, rather than liking it because there's a hand around your dick - You're gay."

"Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A: It scares the heck out of the dog."

"I'm at a party right now and your mom is the only one waiting by the punchbowl. Your mom is the punch line."

"Dudes that only Retweet chicks: Your mom just called. Down to the basement. Come upstairs. Your dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets are ready."

"What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner? A pan, duh!"

"Me: how long are you gonna sit there picking your nose? I tried to be polite but this is absurd Potato Head: I want to look good on my date"

"Why did the octopus blush? He'd just seen the bottom of the ocean!!!!"

"OMG I love you You're the best You left me Did you bring me stuff OMG Anything I don't care Where have you been I smell someone else -Dogs"

"Did you hear about the new pop singer that has giant nipples? Her name is Areola Grande."

"So the UK Government can now read my internet history... So I guess the only way I'm ever seeing tentacle porn again is if I take a shitload of LSD and watch Spongebob. Cruel world."