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Joke of the Day

"Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home."

"Why did Hitler not mind being on the naughty list? He needed more coal anyway."

"I used to dislike the idea of having a beard ... but it slowly grew on me."

"Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district."

"Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there."

"My kid has slept over at Jared Fogle's house plenty of times and there's never been a problem. And as long as Jared keeps my Subway card full of points he will continue not having any problems."

"What do you call a snake that works for the government? ~~A civil serpent~~ Senator."

"If I wake and then I bake, I pray The Lord for chocolate cake. Amen."

"Sorry I missed your call, I was busy seeing how many times my phone would ring before you gave up."

"Why are females so moody when they're on their period? It's an ovary action."