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Joke of the Day

"I used to dislike the idea of having a beard ... but it slowly grew on me."

"A kid goes up to his dad with a question... ""Dad, can I ask you something?"" ""Of course."" ""You and mom are both white, but I'm black. Why?"" ""That party was so wild, it's a wonder you don't bark."""

"Careful, friends. [bends down and examines a handprint in the sidewalk] There is a very powerful child nearby."

"Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent"

"What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery? Honey, why the wrong face?"

"The iWatch is awesome because it's the fastest way to let everyone know you used to have 500 dollars."

"Rhinos are really just old, fat unicorns. Don't argue. U know i'm right."

"what do you call a gang made up of cookies? oatmeal raisin hell"

"Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start."

"Seal goes out with friends. A seal walks into a club."