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Joke of the Day

"If I wake and then I bake, I pray The Lord for chocolate cake. Amen."

"You're in the middle of the ocean and you see Trump and Hillary drowning but you only have room in your boat to save one. Who do you save? America. Keep right on going and don't stop."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff ba dum tsssshhh"

"You know why I hate Cancer? I have crabs. *(Zodiac)*"

"I don't call it ""laziness."" I call it ""selective participation."""

"There were 99 people on a boat, and then it turned over. How many were left? 66."

"(NEW YEARS) what did the rabbi say on New year's. ""f#ck that, happy **Jew** years!!"""

"Marriage is like a hand of cards... You start off with two hearts and a diamond and end up wishing for clubs and a spade."

"My girlfriend said she was cutting off sex for a while. I told her that is fine, we will just have more rape."

"My analyst says I anthropomorphize... but It's only a problem when I do it to people."