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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's some obscure number.. You've probably never heard of it"

"What do you call an eternity? 4 blondes in 4 cars at a 4 way stop"

"A tank and a snake are having a heated argument when the snake says ""Shut up! You got penis on your face!"" to which the tank replies ""You got face on your penis!"""

"Girl, are you a parking ticket? Because I want to throw you aside and forget about you forever."

"My girlfriend is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with Italian food. I wouldn't put it pasta."

"I know one more duck joke! Santa Clause to the snow man: give me the carrot or I am going to blow dry you! (Ok, this one doesn't work in english)"

"What's tall, handsome and muscular? Not you!"

"What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again."

"I used to date cross-eyed women just to feel better about myself after sex."

"How many blacks does it take to screw in a light blulb? Three Fifths"