209050

Joke of the Day

"My friend got in an accident that caused the whole left side of his body to be amputated off He's alright now"

"Telling a girl to calm down: works about as well as trying to baptize a cat."

"Life is like a penis Freely Hanging and Relaxing, it's woman who make it harder"

"TIFU by sending nudes to everyone in my address book. Costed me a fortune in stamps."

"I was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction recently But I'm staying positive because I know it's not going to make life any harder"

"Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us."

"Cop: Do you have any drugs in the car? Me: Absolutely not. Trust me, I've looked."

"Emo Kids: you've seen one, you've seen the mall"

"Why does Donald Trump watch the olympics? To see how high the mexican pole jumpers can jump."

"How do you know if an Asian broke into your house? Your math homework's done, your computer is upgraded, and that little shit is still trying to back out of your driveway."