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Joke of the Day

"I just ate raw chicken fingers And then I threw up gang signs."

"Why did the Pokemon Company offer me a role in their upcoming TV Series? So they could Starmie."

"I guess you could say I like my life how I like my coffee I don't like coffee"

"""Beat me."" said the masochist. ""No."" said the sadist."

"They're dying the Chicago River blue in honor of the Cubs win... It's the first time it will be blue since the French got there."

"Doctor: ""You have a blockage in your small & large intestine"" Barista: ... Barista: ... Doctor: *Sigh* ""Ok, Tall & Venti intestine."""

"Today I've smoked 2 packs of cigs, eaten only deep-fried foods & took the seatbelts out of my truck. Free healthcare is going to be awesome."

"What do army ants have in common with masturbating dolphins? Both come in waves..."

"3 types of people in this world of people in this world of people in this world of people in this world"

"Sometimes I lie in bed at night, looking up at the stars and think Where the hell did the ceiling go?"