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Joke of the Day

"I had a dream where children were allowed to pick their parents, and I woke up thinking ""This is not The Gates' residence."""

"What is the difference between Hitler and a gay person 90 degrees"

"Hot singles in my area have heard about me and are moving to other areas"

"Why are storms always called girls names? Because when they come they are always wet and uncontrollable, and when they disappear they take or destroy all your stuff"

"Making a list of all the people who wrote ""Happy Birthday"" on my wall without an exclamation point so that I know who's secretly mad at me."

"Where is the best place to screw a Mt. Goat? The edge of a cliff, you are guaranteed she will push back!"

"What's an archaeologist's favorite verb? Bone."

"One advantage The Monkees had over The Beatles was the opposable thumb"

"Perhaps one day he'll meet his Girl Fieri."

"My girlfriend told me that I'm starting to annoy her because I relate EVERYTHING to batman.....What a Joker...."