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Joke of the Day

"Mom, am I ugly? ""Of course not, honey. You have everything a man wants, a deep voice, broad shoulders, facial hair..."""

"[M] What's the hardest part of owning a cat? Telling your parents you're gay."

"How come Landscapers have huge loads? They are always edging."

"The Little Mermaid was a hoarder."

"[SKYRIM JOKE] Why didn't the Nords win the theater audition? They should have acted."

"Do you know Mike? Mike ock"

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1."

"Whats the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo Bean? I've never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face."

"I hit on an older woman on a dating site and she rejected me by saying ""is your dad available?"" So i responded to her by saying ""yeah, but i dont think he is into threesomes."""

"AMA request: Paul McCartney How big of an impact has Kanye been to your music career blowing up?"