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Joke of the Day

"Geppetto: Whew it's a cold one. Pinocchio: Mhmm. G: Fire's running low. P: Mhmm. G: Wonder *sharpens axe* where I could get some wood."

Next Joke
 
"After his wedding, Chuck Norris sent ""You're Welcome"" cards to all of his guests."
"Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else"
"Listen, I'm sorry... That reaction was WAY over the line.... I actually have no problem with the horse you rode in on...."
"Two guys are walking down the road and they see a dog licking himself. First guy says, ""Boy I sure wish I could do that."" Second guy says, ""I think you should try to pet him first."""
"[ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ] Ahhhh, there it is... Wife: Get off of me!!"
"Clinton didn't faint due to heat exhaustion... ... she was just doing her steel beam impression."
"So my software came in today ... My mom asked if it was the curtains she ordered. I opened the box and turned around. ""Nope, just my Windows."" edit: [windows](https://i.imgur.com/niu6mMM.jpg)"
"I got a flyer in the mail that said ""Get into a new car no questions asked!"" Bullshit... my neighbor still asked WTF I was doing in his BMW."
"last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D"