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Joke of the Day

"So my software came in today ... My mom asked if it was the curtains she ordered. I opened the box and turned around. ""Nope, just my Windows."" edit: [windows](https://i.imgur.com/niu6mMM.jpg)"

"Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun?"

"How do you say Philippines in Ebonics? Colombia"

"Whoever said ""Just showing up is half the battle"" (a) didn't understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up."

"Did you hear of the pig who began hiding garbage In November? She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early."

"Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!"

"In California... Did you know that in California you cannot take a picture of a woman with a basket of strawberries? ...you need a camera because strawberries do not take pictures."

"I'm only good at math when I'm adding insult to injury."

"What's white and in the men's 100m track final? The lines."

"A blonde joke you probably haven't heard for a while ... Hillary Clinton"