202717

Joke of the Day

"A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on war. The librarian replies, ""Fuck off, you'll lose it."""

"What's long, hard, 6 inches, and makes the ladies scream when it's put in their mouth or up their vagina? A knife."

"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper"

"Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy? Because open balls are in his neighborhood"

"Michael Brown's family just wants their voices to be heard. They are tired of being shot down."

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is... .... you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club"

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time someone goes to the toilet take 4 shots"

"Q: What's a cat's second favorite food? - A: Spa-catti!"

"Why doesn't the gastroenterologist have any friends? He's always talking shit."

"[phone rings in 1984] ""Eric get the phone"" Hello? ""Tell em I'm not home."" She's not home. ""Ask who it is."" My mom wants to know who this is."