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Joke of the Day

"What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited? Run Berry, run!"

"My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong."

"Why are all lesbians ill? They lack vitamin D"

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other."

"My SO is giving me the silent treatment, so I tightened all the lids of our jars. Now she'll have to talk to me."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!"

"Why do tachyons program in assembly? Because it's faster then C"

"This whole time I thought Ariana Grande was a font"

"Did you hear about the terrorist with a house fetish? I hear he blew his house."

"I often ask myself, what would Jesus do?... ... then I realize I don't have time to just hang around all day."