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Joke of the Day

"I often ask myself, what would Jesus do?... ... then I realize I don't have time to just hang around all day."

"You'd think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now."

"Putin denies Russian naval exercises in Finnish waters, claims that sonar readings ""were misinterpreted"". Whoops, wrong sub."

"I get myself into less trouble when I've got a character limit."

"A Call for Assistance by Linda Hand"

"A port-a-potty truck blocked my car in at work so I couldn't leave.. But hey, shit happens."

"My hope for you is that you someday find the end of your sentence"

"About delete my Facebook account, I hope Stacey and Heather from the 3rd grade can handle the rejection."

"What kind of bees make milk, not honey? Boo(bees)"

"Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM."