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Joke of the Day

"[runs up to a group of people] ME: ZACK ATTACK GUY: lol is your name zack or [thousands of bros crest a nearby hill] ME: [whispering] RUN"

"I love my lungs... ...they have a place very close to my heart."

"Two guys walk into a bar.... ...the third ducked."

"Sometimes I loiter outside of Victoria's Secret just so people think I have a girlfriend."

"What was the problem with the midget prostitute? She was always selling herself short."

"You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me."

"I had such a great masturbation session last night... that when I woke up in the morning my dick was in the kitchen cooking breakfast."

"Two eggs and a strip of bacon walk into a bar The bartender looks at them and says, ""Sorry - we don't serve breakfast here."""

"Where does Santa stash his money? In a snowbank."

"What do you call a gay rhinoceros? Scooter the unicorn."