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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay rhinoceros? Scooter the unicorn."

"I don't make typos. I make new words."

"How is a Mexican like a cue ball? The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get out of them."

"If I'm ever captured as a spy, all they'd have to do to get me to talk is put my house slipper on the wrong foot."

"Duck Dynasty guy is right-- if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe because Christians never start wars for bullshit reasons."

"Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they live by the bay, they would be bagels!"

"Donald Trump doesn't want to have sex with his daughter He just has ""alternative family values"""

"Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail."

"What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives? A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!"

"Took my pet lion in an elevator along with shocked shoppers this morning. There was quite an uproar."