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Joke of the Day

"Two eggs and a strip of bacon walk into a bar The bartender looks at them and says, ""Sorry - we don't serve breakfast here."""

"[puts in hearing aid] aids aids aids aids aids [takes out hearing aid]"

"What does a robot do during sex? He nuts and bolts!"

"Remember, one person can make a difference! Two people can NOT, though. 3-5: yes again! 6: no way, you'll just make it worse! It's weird!"

"Sometimes it's too hard to hate everyone all at once, so I hate people in shifts."

"If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?"

"What's the best part of having sex with a transsexual? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bail"

"What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church"

"I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out."