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Joke of the Day

"Two Breasts Two 80-year-old breasts are in a sweater with no bra. One says to the other, ""If we don't start getting some support for our cause, people will think we're nuts!"""

"Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, ""Colonel"" is the biggest liar of all time"

"CAUGHT ON TAPE: Lint"

"I don't have a problem with steroids in sports since I think anyone who can give themselves a shot is the bravest person in the world."

"ME: Who is your favourite philosopher? PROFESSOR: It's Hume. ME: Sorry - whom is your favourite philosopher?"

"Coworker: Are those Chinos? Me: No. These are my pants. Coworker... Me: Who steals pants?"

"[bleeding out] ER Doctor: do you know your blood type? ME: I've never really thought about it TBH. As long as it has a good personality"

"I had a joke about bones... I cant remember the punchline but i remember it was really humerous"

"The school called me on the phone today and said, ""Your son has been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good! I don't have no kids!"

"[date at rooftop bar] give me ur hand ""Is tha-are u wearing a squirrel tail?"" *rips off jacket to reveal flying squirrel suit* do u trust me"