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Joke of the Day
"My parents say I am a Cancer... I was born in March..."
Next Joke
"In all the alternate universes, in how many is Kim Kardashian super famous and in how many did she just get fired from a Wells Fargo?"
"Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York? They wouldn't let him bring his carrion. Sorry."
"What's a dentists favourite time? 2:30"
"That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix."
"You're not fucking handicapped, you're fat. You should have a parking spot 6 miles away and be required to jumping jack to the store."
"Wanna feel old? Make comparative judgments based on how long you've been alive versus how long younger people have been alive. Wild."
"Re: global warming and the cold weather ""Liberals keep telling me the Titanic is sinking but my side of the ship is 500 feet in the air."""
"When you tell someone that you're asexual... You then have two people who do not give a fuck."
"How much for the mirror? Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue"