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Joke of the Day

"Wanna feel old? Make comparative judgments based on how long you've been alive versus how long younger people have been alive. Wild."

"Why do women parachutists wear cups? So they won't whistle on the way down."

"A hat and a tie are out running The tie gets tired and says he needs a break. The hat replies ""Don't worry. You hang around and I'll go on ahead."""

"(Original) Why should you keep a broken clock? It's just nice having an extra set of hands around."

"Samuel L Jackson got into an argument with an Ethiopian... I heard him screaming ""Food, motherfucker! Do you eat it?"""

"How to be an asian... Just squint your eyes and say ""We all how smaw deek"" out loud."

"roundabouts My girlfriend isn't very fond of the many roundabouts that our city is starting to build. I told her that she'd come around to them."

"When I catch my dog sleeping, I shave dicks into his fur."

"Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer? He's not a fan of the shingle life."

"I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid."