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Joke of the Day

"Re: global warming and the cold weather ""Liberals keep telling me the Titanic is sinking but my side of the ship is 500 feet in the air."""

"""Will the father be present during the birth?"" asked the obstetrician. ""Nah"" replied the mother-to-be ""He and my husband don't get along."""

"I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first"

"*knock knock* whos there? sir theres been an accident. theres been an accident who?"

"Nerd crush in Star Wars originals was Carrie Fisher. Nerd crush in Star Wars Force Awakens... The stormtrooper who yells **""TRAITOR!**"

"Pandas are proof that you can get fat from just eating salad."

"Doctor, does being obese impede my chances off a normal sex life? No, but it does add weight to the problem."

"Bears eating a clown Two bears finish eating a clown and one of them asks the other ""Did he taste funny to you?"""

"What do you call a sort-of cool vegetable? A Radish"

"What's a specimen? An Italian astronaut :-D"