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Joke of the Day

"That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix."

"What did Mr T say when asked if he had any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, fool."

"The programmer's wife tells her husband: ""Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. if they have eggs, get a dozen."" The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread."

"Did you hear about the kid who fixed the Internet? The Internet: 7/10 The Internet with Rice: 10/10"

"I think my brother is addicted to huffing paint. It's written all over his face."

"Guys: never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They will clearly see your nuts."

"What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Cell phones."

"Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!"

"My friend showed me his pictures from his exchange program in Amsterdam. It turns out he did a project at the Red Light district there. Damn, he really was studying a broad!"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, homosexual rooster? Dude'll do a cock!"