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Joke of the Day

"Alien 1: ""Did the humans get our message?"" Alien 2: ""Yeah, but they named it dub-step and dance to it."""

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Cheap and bitter."

"You're so fat, when you sat on an iPod . . . It turned into an ipad. If you don't like my joke, you should really lighten up."

"How do you kill a hipster? Drown them in the main stream."

"There's nobody in this world who gives LESS of a FUCK about helping you and your problem than a person working in customer service."

"Vegetarians eat vegetables... What do veterinarians eat? (you thought I was gonna ask about humanitarians, didn't you?)"

"How do you stop a nuclear bomb from squeaking...? ...WMD40."

"Q: What is a monster's favourite game? A: Swallow the leader."

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."

"What goes; green-red-green-red-green-red-green-red? A frog in my blender"