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Joke of the Day

"Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He's a sneaky bastard."

"A man was arrested for publicly exposing himself to the ""wrong person,"" which implies somewhere out there the right person is waiting."

"I really needed something positive in my life so I finally got tested."

"It's all fun and games until you realize you're the girl at work known as ""how is she still employed."""

"Woman Attacks her Husband This woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars. Judge: ""First Offender?"" Woman: ""No. First a Gibson Les Paul. Second a Fender."""

"I'm so proud of myself, it took me only six months to finish my latest jigsaw puzzle... ...the box said 2-4 years!"

"A hurricane is like a woman. When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car."

"U.S announces ""Biggest boom in terrorism since 9/11"". ... The prophets are going through the roof."

"My friend got drunk on Candy the other day. He said it was liquor-ish"

"Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?"