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Joke of the Day

"Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn't I?"

"EXECUTIVE: Calling our store ""Bed & Bath"" isn't working. How can we take our branding to the next level? BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: I have an idea..."

"Did you hear about a Russian-speaking Indian? He worships a moss cow"

"I have recently been saving up for a sex change I don't care what my wife thinks, she is going to have it"

"Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer."

"Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"Don't put words in my mouth...my foot is already in there."

"If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...? Stereotyping."

"What do you call a Shi Tzu giving a blowjob? Shit Head."

"If by ""be (your) girlfriend"" you mean ""catch spiders and hide them in your pockets everyday"" then yes, I'll be your girlfriend."