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Joke of the Day

"Why did god kill all the herbivore dinosaurs? He liked his salads a little meteor."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic."

"Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head ""southwest"". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye"

"After an altercation with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice."

"Why can't a prostitute count to 70? Because 69's a mouthful."

"What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ? ""You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"""

"What kind of a belly button does a German car mechanic have? An Audi"

"What would it take to reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets."

"So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. That is the joke. There's no punchline here."

"Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose."