134844

Joke of the Day

"Two condoms walk past a gay bar One says to the other ""what do you say we go in there and get shit-faced?"""

"Things in common When does atheism become synonymous with running? A: When you draw Mohamad. Edit: Reworded it to make sense."

"Car alarms would be a lot more effective if they sounded like two people fighting. I'd peak out my window for that."

"[office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?"

"My favorite Knock Knock Joke. ""Knock Knock"" ""who's there"" ""I got up"" ""I got up who?"" ""then the bathrooms over there"""

"Give a man a fish Feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, feed him for the rest of his life."

"How does a space class start a party? They planet!"

"Cats are weird. They look at you like they want to set you on fire then look all surprised when you toss them into the ceiling fan."

"Why do traffic lights never go swimming? Because they spend too much time changing."

"Why did Adele cross the road? To say ""hello"" from the other side. ::mic drop::::"