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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I look depressed. It's just that when I heard the sound of your high heels on the hardwood floor, I thought a pony was in the house."

"the 10,000 hours rule is simpley not true i hav said ""helo bird"" to a bird for over 10,000 hours but i still cam't talk to birds"

"Ever say hi to someone and immediately regret it because now you know you have to say hi to them forever?"

"If you are talking to me and I appear as if I'm attentively listening, I'm probably just silently correcting your grammar in my head."

"What do you call a grumpy girl's desk? A periodic table."

"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"

"So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?"

"Did you see the President of Russia doing magic tricks outside? He was really Putin on a show"

"yo mamma so fat she sat on her ipod and made it an ipad"

"What did one condom say to the other at a gay bar? Let's get shitfaced!"