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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I look depressed. It's just that when I heard the sound of your high heels on the hardwood floor, I thought a pony was in the house."

"Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order."

"White people be loving the shit out of fall foliage."

"I always buy computers that are black. Generally, they run faster and have a bigger hard drive."

"Did it Hurt When You Fell From Heaven Straight Into Hell?"

"What's a vampire's favorite hobby? In-grave-ing."

"What's good about Switzerland? Not much, but the flag is a big plus."

"Trying to argue via text is like Being Italian and talking with handcuffs on."

"Maybe my grandma stayed married for 50 yrs because she never said stuff like ""I just wish he would support me, you know, creatively."""

"CNN: President Obama Saves The Life Of A Choking Child. FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working EMS Workers."