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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order."

"What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common? They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!"

"What's a cats favorite color? Puuuuurple."

"*chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading"

"You ever notice how an electric pencil sharpener and a cat's butt look the same? They even make the same noise when you stick a pencil in it: Rar, Rar, Rar, Rar...."

"Why is everyone in the Soviet Union always in a hurry? Why is everyone in the Soviet Union is always in a hurry? They're all Russian."

"What did they call Fireman Sam after he retired? ""That fat, selfish faggot that chose the pension over saving our lives."""

"As mad as I have been at my boyfriend, I still have never demeaned the size of his penis... That's just a dick move."

"If there was a game show where people have to find a phone charger before their phone dies I would win the million dollars"

"I have the ability to hate people based solely on the sound of their cough."