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Joke of the Day

"Don't worry about the grass on the other side. It's not your grass."

"Catholic church must be serious. Everything with Mass has gravity, after all."

"What was the old lady's favourite type of wine? ""Why don't you ever take me to Florida?"" Courtesy of my Nana."

"After working out for over a year, I successfully dated several girls who always jumped on my couch, saying 'do whatever you want with me'. But unfortunately none of them liked Mario Kart. :("

"When I die, I want my remains to be scattered around Disneyland. I also don't want to be cremated."

"Why do old people read the bible so much? I asked my grandad the other day ""why do old people read the bible so much?"" He replied ""cause we're cramming for finals"""

"I'm not homeless, but a lot of homeless things happen to me."

"""Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"" Lucifer: Are you hitting on me?"

"Classic Norm MacDonald joke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGr_7p5Ti0Q"

"We're expecting 12 inches tomorrow night. Well played, Black History Month. Well played."