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Joke of the Day

"After working out for over a year, I successfully dated several girls who always jumped on my couch, saying 'do whatever you want with me'. But unfortunately none of them liked Mario Kart. :("

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"PRETZELS Two pretzels were walking down the street, and one was a salted."
"Why do T Rexes have such bad anger issues? Because their fathers never hugged them."
"My girlfriend asked me why we don't make love like they do in the movies.. So I ripped off her clothes, fucked her in the ass and came in her eye. I guess we don't watch the same movies."
"What do you call a dizzy Asian? Disoriented."
"How do you find will smith in the snow? You look for fresh prince."
"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the jews? Harry survived the chamber."
"As an ultimate act of selflessness, someday I will travel to a 3rd world country and adopt a small, less fortunate highway."
"Got into a fight with an Egyptian. We were fez to fez."
"If you love something let it go, if it comes back with a toddlers arm, it was probably a Pit Bull."