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Joke of the Day

"My friend might be hung tomorrow... The suspense is killing him."

"I can't remember where I read this, but I heard too much masturbating causes memory loss."

"Dyslexia cost me my job in IT Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files"

"What's grey, has one leg, sits at the end of your bed and takes the piss out of you? A kidney dialysis machine."

"I wish I was able to argue about something as strongly as women do about nothing."

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent"

"Last night an Afghan put a jacket on me. He said ""You da bomb!"""

"TIFU I'm like a 4/10 and she was a total 9."

"What's the difference between a blimp and a blow job every day? One's a Goodyear, the other's a fucking awesome year!"

"What is the difference between pot and pussy? If you can smell the pussy across the room, it's probably not the good stuff."