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Joke of the Day

"Me: You need to eat vegetables instead of candy if you want to be tall. 4-year-old: I'll just be small and happy."

"Darth Vader's full name is Dartholomew Spaceinvader."

"These people act like they've never seen a woman eat a whole rotisserie chicken before."

"What is 6 afraid of 7? Because size matters."

"""How much for the mannequin in the clown outfit?"" ""Sir, she came in with you!"""

"When my upstairs neighbor uses the toilet It's some next level shit"

"The State of Illinois has just unveiled its new welcome sign... Welcome to Illinois; not ALL of our elected officials have been indicted!"

"ya i'll have a 6 inch subway club on parmesan oregano ""sir this is the DMV"" uh ya toasted ""sir"" cheddar ""sir, you-"" do u have sun chips"

"What's the best thing to come out of a penis? The wrinkles. (Told to me by my mother)"

"""I think we should touch other people's faces"" - blind break up"