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Joke of the Day

"Apparently there is a way to permanently remove memories But I forgot it."

"""When I call your name say 'omnipresent.'"" - teacher to class full of Gods"

"*helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous"

"I was driving along the other day when suddenly a deer ran out. I have no idea how it got in my car in the first place."

"Is it too soon for Michael Brown jokes? Thought I would give it a shot."

"My local dollar store burned down Over $3000 worth of merchandise was lost"

"No one wants to be the sofa king But they all think they're sofa king funny."

"Why is Harry Potter so popular? The story grows on you."

"I heard OJ Simpson was getting married again. He's gonna take another stab at it."

"Deuteronomy Believe it or not - it isn't the field of study of deuterium."