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Joke of the Day

"Is it too soon for Michael Brown jokes? Thought I would give it a shot."

"Daughter: Dad, you need a smart phone. Me: Will it make my dinner? D: No but- M: Good talk."

"If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet."

"*tree falls in forest, quickly stands up and looks around to see if anybody heard it, brushes self off*"

"A black guy and a jewish guy jump off a building, who lands first? who cares."

"I hate toilets... They're so shitty."

"I've gone from agony to ecstasy in this last week. Hopefully, by the end of this month... ...I'll be done reading this dictionary."

"I went to the zoo... I went to the zoo yesterday and I was disappointed to see the only animal they had was a single dog. It's a shih tzu."

"Do me a faver? Look at any object near you k now imagen its a diferent thing how was youre experience? i imagened pencil is baseball"

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!"