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Joke of the Day

"We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way. It's called thinking ahead guys."

"Finish this sentence: I like my coffee like I like my _____. I like my coffee like I like my coffee: recursive."

"I wish I had parents like Dora They let that bitch go everywhere."

"Whenever I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind, I just run a few ideas by my cat and then I feel better."

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."

"Oh, you said floppy DISK. *pulls pants back up* Yeah, I don't know what that is."

"Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who tried to fuck a clock? He heard time was relative."

"What's the affirmative response to a Jamaican mother? Yeah mom!"

"I hope Elon Musk never gets in a scandal Because Elongate would be really drawn out."

"I like people how I like my coffee... I don't like coffee!"