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Joke of the Day

"The first mate on a pirate ship sees the captain with a wheel in his pants... The first mate asks why the helm is there and the captain replies, ""Yar, it's drivin' me nuts."""

"What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet? Reddish."

"With Parkinsons... Every weight is shake weight!"

"Does Sean Connery like herbs? Yes, but only partially."

"It's hard not to bring up the fact I'm vegan whenever people talk about food or a new restaurant or that their mom just died or"

"What does Santa listen to while delivering presents? sleigh-er"

"Have you heard of nihilism? Its kind of a Nietzsche philosophy."

"What's Wolverine's favorite candy bar? SNIKTERS"

"Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think ""look at all these poor people who don't know Netflix exists."""

"adulthood is just eating a taco where the toppings keep falling out and then death"