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Joke of the Day
"Nice try, fat girls ordering a salad on the first date. Nice try."
Next Joke
"Jesus walked on water? Big deal. I can too. Let's see him walk on Vodka"
"[first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?"
"That dress looks great on you, but it would look even better on my floor. *buys identical dress, throws it on the ground*"
"A wife is like a hand grenade.. Take off the ring and say good bye to your house."
"Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?"
"An original joke. Sorry, wrong subreddit."
"My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :("
"Australia beat England in their matchup in the Rugby World Cup. I guess you could say the prisoners beat the guards."
"(1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators"