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Joke of the Day

"My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :("

"Whenever my grandma comes to visit and I hear a loud thud from upstairs, I go for a coffee and think about the cool stuff I just inherited."

"I guarantee you, this is a joke Donald Trump"

"What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter. - [*Masai Graham*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"

"Mom I get nervous on dates & always sweat. ""Wear something that doesn't show stains"" [5 hours later] How was your date? She hated my poncho."

"Interviewer: what are your future plans? Me: lunch Interviewer: I meant long term plans Me: what, like dinner?"

"Fat girls don't have it so bad At least they can wipe their tears with their tits"

"What do you find up a clean nose? Finger-prints."

"Ok children, what sounds did we hear on our field trip to the farm yesterday?...""Moo!"" ""Bahhh!"" ""Quack Quack""...""Get the Fuk off that tractor!!!"""

"Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents. Guess the price has adjusted for inflation."