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Joke of the Day

"The Great Yarn Race **Joe:** Did you hear about the great yarn race? **Jane:** No. Who won? **Joe:** Well, they had to weave their selves through the obstacles and in the end, it was a tie."

Next Joke
 
"CHECK OUT BUZZFEED'S TOP 10 LIST OF GODS FOR ATHEISTS. YOU WON'T BELIEVE NUMBER 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, OR 10."
"I'm proud of myself- I just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took me 6 months! The box said 2-4 years!"
"I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit."
"(Nsfw)What must a vampire ask before he has sex? Is it alright if I cum inside?"
"Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before Glee,' almost watchable."
"*slowly opens eyes after a thousand years of meditation* but where does one throw away a garbage can"
"Ill tell you what I know about Dwarves Very little"
"What did the animal control officer ask the Hawaiian dancer? Hula the dogs out?"
"Me:*delete pics* IPhone: you sure? M:Yes IP: Ok I'll just put them over here Me:delete them IP: Ok *whispers* keeping them on the cloud tho"