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Joke of the Day

"Me:*delete pics* IPhone: you sure? M:Yes IP: Ok I'll just put them over here Me:delete them IP: Ok *whispers* keeping them on the cloud tho"

"[first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed."

"Nobody loves your text conversation screenshot as much as you do."

"A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer, but also shortens the workday."

"A new joke about Kim Jong Un (removed)"

"LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older."

"What is a rocket's favorite meal? Launch! Another one from my 9 year old."

"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."

"What's the difference between a white nationalist and a racist? Two syllables."

"What happens to deposed kings? They get throne away."