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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes you feel like you've grown. Other times you pout for a few hours because your wife accidentally threw away your Tabasco sauce."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? Perk up or people will think you're nuts!"

"Where does the 3D shape go when it murders someone? Prism"

"There are days & nights where I'm surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house."

"muppets cannot die and nobody else seems to be worried about this"

"I used to be in a band called The Prevention We hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."

"What shoes do roosters wear? Chickenstocks"

"Why are all lesbians ill? They lack vitamin D"

"What do you do if you find a trumpet growing in your scottish garden? You root it ooot!"

"What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you? ""You can have my beer if you let me go."""