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Joke of the Day

"free space program idea: when you bring a spaceship back to earth land it on a huge seesaw and launch another ship off the other side"

"If Twitter icons have taught me anything it's that the male eye can spot cleavage at incredibly low resolutions."

"MUST HAVE BEFORE WATCHING THE CONJURING : - Bible - iBible iPhone app - Holy Water - Priest - Jesus - 5 Jesus necklaces - Holy Spirt"

"Why were the teachers eyes so crossed? She couldn't control her pupils."

"Did you hear Ben and Jerry are going to bring out a special line of LGBT ice-cream? They're gonna call it Ambrusia."

"What does Facebook and a conversation between two teenagers have in common? A lot of likes"

"When you think your life couldn't be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account."

"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this"

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil."

"What did the corn say when it was complemented? Aww, shucks!"